Rick Mercer Agrees

I posted yesterday about the Conservatives' "It Gets Better" video.  I made a point about John Baird, the "not-so-openly gay MP", and while I could appreciate that he chooses to keep his private life private, I also said that I wish he'd use his public position a bit more to show gay kids that being out and successful is possible.  Turns out Rick Mercer agrees, and he took a solid stance on this during this rant on TV last night, saying (among other things): "So if you're gay and you're in public life, I'm sorry, you don't have to run around with a pride flag and bore the hell out of everyone, but you can't be invisible.  Not anymore."

He's right.  So I take back my comment from yesterday.  Public personalities, including public officials, shouldn't be hiding.  Why?  Because everyone knows John Baird is gay, and the incidental effect of him not admitting it suggests to people that it's not okay to be gay -- at least not in public, anyway.  That's the kind of incidental effect that not only makes confused gay kids afraid of coming out, but it makes the bullies out there think that what they're doing is right.  

Hypocrisy or a step in the right direction?

So it turns out a group of Conservative MPs created an "It Gets Better" video last week.  Big kudos, as far as I'm concerned.  "It's about time" is another brainwave I'm having.  The video was made in response to the death of young Jamie Hubley, the son of an Ottawa city councillor, and the most recent casualty of the vile beast known as bullying.  Hubley was a gay teenager who was viciously taunted and humiliated for trying to make the world a better place.  He was a vocal advocate of tolerance at his high school -- not a very common feat for teens at that stage of their lives -- and he paid a terrible price for it.

Clearly the Conservatives have been shaken by a terrible event that took place in their backyard.  I'm particularly pleased that John Baird, a thus far not-so-openly gay MP, is using his public position to say something important about this issue.  As one of a very small group of gay public officials, I wish he'd say more.  But I can't fault him for keeping his private life private, this definitely isn't what this is about.  But I do have mixed feelings.

In a National Post article this morning Chris Selley hits the nail on the head of those mixed feelings.  The Conservatives, after all, have never been supporters of gay rights in the public sphere.  And kids have been killing themselves for years because they have been taunted for being gay -- this is not a new problem.  So why now?  I don't know the answer to that question, but obviously I hope it's an indication of a change in Conservative ideology.  Others aren't so hopeful.

Some non-Conservative MPs voiced their skepticism in a purely stupid way, one NDP MP even stating that "if you're not a gay person you can't make one of those videos".  Really?  I won't even deal with that statement, because it's quite literally just. that. stupid.  A Liberal MP focused on the hypocrisy of the situation during Question Period.  An EGALE representative called the video "vapid", "late", and "disingenuous".  In short... political actors are proving that, yet again, all they care about is politics.  "Attack the Conservatives at all costs rather than admit they might actually be doing something right, for a change".  I'm losing faith in these idiots.

I get it.  I have mixed feelings too.  Yes, the statement is too late.  Yes, John Baird should probably be using his position to inform people that you can be openly gay and a successful position.  Yes, Vic Toews is a jerk.  But categorizing this video (which you can watch here) as anything other than exactly what it is -- a statement of encouragement to gay kids and teens that things will be okay, and a plea to not give up -- is stupid, unproductive, and undermined the entire idea of the It Gets Better movement.  I won't be voting Conservative any time soon, but considering they have a majority government for the next god-knows-how-long, this gives me a bit of hope that they're doing SOME things right, for a change.

Happy Weekend!

Ah I love the fall.  So much.  Which is why on a weekend like this I would much prefer to be out enjoying it then preparing for a long day of schoolwork...  At least I've got some super fun Kennedy Sweater Football to look forward to as a break later today.  

A short post today, just sharing a couple of fun things:

From A Cup of Jo

- This picture made me melt a little (read: a lot).  Our family just lost our 12 year old pup last week, so I've got a particularly soft spot for all things dog at the moment.  Seriously how adorable is that faaaaaaaace?

- If you're all wrapped up in the power of social media and the influence they have on the people around us, 52x52.org is a REALLY cool concept and totally great idea.  I'm often nagged by the idea that I'm not pulling my weight in terms of social responsibility.  I find it difficult to commit myself to a cause when I have so many other things going on, because I don't know how to only be half-involved in something -- passion takes over and before you know it I'm failing school.  52x52 is an awesome and easy way to make a difference.  I'll be donating 10 dollars a week for a year.  It's really not that much in the grand scheme of things.  I hope some of you will consider doing the same!

I feel sick. Let's please do something about this.

I have quite literally been sickened to hear that THIS ad by the Institute for Canadian Values was published in the National Post recently.  Voters in Ontario are heading to the polls very shortly, and this ad is meant to mobilize the conservative Christians into thinking about who they should vote for, particularly in the Greater Toronto Area.  Specifically, the ad takes aim at the Toronto District School Board's 2011 K-12 Curriculum Resource Guide, entitled "Challenging Homophobia and Heterosexism".  Go ahead, click the link and read the first few pages, and try not to beam with joy.  It makes me so proud  that educators in this country are making a conscious effort to teach 5 year olds about acceptance and tolerance.  You go, Toronto.  The Institute for Canadian Values, however, clearly does not agree.

Let me point out the obvious: 1) what the f***.  2) Somebody needs to give the TDSB an award.  3) what the f***.

It bothers me a LOT that this institute claims to represent "Canadian" values.  Go to hell, I'm a Canadian and those definitely aren't MY values.  It bothers me equally as much that their home page has a blurb about how the "Canadian government needs to do more to tackle hate crimes against Jews" (which is absolutely true following instances of anti-semitism on several university campuses), and yet thinks it's okay to propagate intolerance towards the LGBTQ community.

It would appear that I've been living in a state of oblivious contentement here in Canada for the last few years, because my friends and family had me thinking that homophobia had been erased in this country.  They are wonderful.  And thank God for them, because this ad has just hurtled me back towards a very troubling reality: there are still people in MY awesome, progressive country who think I'm sick/perverted/confused/a pedophile/that my kids will inevitably turn out gay/that anybody I encounter will become gay at my slightest touch/that I have a Bat Phone that goes straight to Ellen's landline/that I'm a part of a secret cult of Lady Gaga worshippers.  Only the last 2 items on that list are true.

I don't know what the solution to this problem is.  We all know Conservative Evangelical Christian values have withstood the tests of time, science, and common sense, so they're probably here to stay.   But I can start by taking advantage of the nifty little "Contact Us" button on the ICV's website and telling them what's on my mind.  If you want me to tell Ellen and Lady Gaga about you, you should do the same.

Geekiest/Greatest Wedding Photos Ever

I'm a pretty big lame-o in a lot of ways, not the least of which is that I have a mild obsession with wedding photos.  i.e. Our Labor of Love is one of my all-time favorite blogs.

So, when my friend Jo (whose unbelievable work you should check out immediately as well) shared a link to these wedding (or possibly engagement) photos on her wall recently, it was obvious I'd fall in love with them and share.  Are you kidding?  Zombies?  In your engagement pictures?!  Couples should always have this much fun.

You can check out the rest here!

Reflections on Alabama, now that I'm home

Now that I’ve covered all the amazing details of my trip to Alabama, and have begun my trek home, I’ve had some time to reflect on what’s taken place in the last week.  There are the obvious clichés – it was all a blur, I hardly feel like I’ve been gone a day, I miss it and everyone I met terribly… they are all accurate, of course; just insufficient, that’s all.

When Sarah asked me to be in her wedding party, I immediately said yes (ok fine, FIRST I clarified that I wouldn’t have to wear a dress, THEN I said yes).  For those of you who know Sarah and/or Matt, you know that they have faced several obstacles and plenty of adversity along their journey together, and they never wavered in their love for each other through it all.  This wedding, beyond being a symbol of their love, has always represented the great sigh of relief at the end of that battle.  I never could have said no to being invited to such a special event.  I’m so happy for you two (because I know you’re reading!) and hope you can finally breathe easier and enjoy your life together.

Even though it was an easy thing for me to say yes, though, I’ve spent almost 4 months being nervous about the whole thing (for myself, not them, sheesh).  There were lots of things that crossed my mind this summer, not the least of which was whether or not I would fit in with their friends.  I met (the lovely) Tara back in April when she came to visit Sarah in Halifax, but I didn’t have the first clue what the rest of the wedding party, friends, and family would be like.  And I’ll freely admit, quite shamefully, that my nervousness stemmed from the fact that I was going to be spending a week with folks from Texas.  I am such a fool.  I mean I don’t think Texans are assholes, my god, not at all.  Just, read on.

I just didn’t know how people from Texas, being home to a very conservative majority, would feel about this super-liberal, not-really-religious, Canadian kid who looks like a 14-year-old boy.  I like to think I’m pretty harmless, but what if they didn’t think so?  I’ve broken a lot of the Big Man’s rules in my day, you know?  I curse like a sailor most days, I only go to church on Christmas Eve, I steal a jube jube from the 10-cent candy bins at the grocery on a regular basis...  That and I look like Ellen and Elton John had a kid.  What if someone’s grandmother ran shrieking from the wedding ceremony at the sight of me?!  Imagine??  The horror.  This is the crap I think up.

Well, enter these beautiful people. 

I’ll say it again: I’m a fool.  I walked into Alabama with an open mind, yes, but it was plagued by a fear based on stereotypes.  Five days later, I’m heartbroken to be leaving these wonderful, hilarious, sweet people that I’ve totally fallen in love with.  Seriously, it wasn’t as though I was expecting a bunch of jerks, but I was absolutely worried about making anyone uncomfortable, or if anyone would have an inherent ideological problem with my being around…. I NEVER expected that I would leave Alabama, after only 4 days, wondering when and how I might get to see everyone again (same bat time same bat channel, next year!).  I guess there’s just something to be said for really lovely, wonderful people.  Who doesn’t love having loads of those in their life?  Well, I think a couple of them may have worked up the courage to make the trip to Halifax one day, despite their fear of getting frostbite in the middle of our terribly chilly summers (it’s not QUITE the Arctic up here you know!!!), so here’s hoping no one changes their mind!

Anyway.  This has become unintentionally wordy.  But I felt the need to vocalize my regret over my silliness, and to thank everyone I met during my stay in Gulf Shores for being so warm, accepting, hilarious and fun. And as I sit here in seat 28B, high above the Carolinas, thinking about all of you, I realize that I never should have expected any different.  We were all brought together by Sarah & Matt after all.

Keep in touch, eh? (EHHHHHHHHHHHH drink!)

Post-Wedding Day Bliss

Ok, really, have y'all (yeah I said it) seen Sarah's Facebook yet today?  "Sarah Kelly".  Please.  Love is the best.

So here we are!  Sarah and Matt finallyyyyyyy got hitched yesterday and it was as beautiful and tear-filled and fun and awesome as you would expect a great wedding to be, if not more.  Since I know all of you A-Teamers really want the tiny details, I'll do my best to give you as much as possible, photos and video included :)

I think my post yesterday only covered up until 9 AM or so since we were up so damn early haha, but yeah, Tara, Sarah and I started by watching Despicable Me and snuggling on the pull-out couch.  Sarah's parents are early-risers and the condos are quite small, so we hadn't planned on being up so early.... 

Oh hey, it's Ashley (and my nostrils)

We basically spent the next three hours lounging, eating, and half-napping. Cali, Rachel, Randi, Tyler and Ashley (i've added them to my list of favorite people as well) came to join us as the afternoon went on.  The flowers showed up shortly thereafter, and all of a sudden it was 5:30 and there was a collective "ohmygod there's this wedding in an hour we have to be at" and the next few hours are SUCH a blur! 

One of my favorite parts of the day was when Sarah and Matt exchanged letters (via Tara the Courier of course since they couldn't see eachother).  Seriously, these two are adorable.  Sarah wanted us all to hear what Matt had written to her, and there weren't too many dry eyes in the room by the time it was done.  They didn't write their own vows (not vowels, Cali. Jesus.) for the ceremony so it was really beautiful to hear how they feel about each other in their own words!  That boy sure loves his wife, I can tell you that.

the ahhhhh-mazing flowers

The ceremony happened on the beach, and it was SO beautiful and so much fun to be a part of!  I got to escort Sarah's mom down the aisle, and that woman is hilariously awesome, so I'm so glad we were able to walk down the aisle and giggle together haha.  Everything went off without a hitch, the weather was perfect and not too hot, we got some great pictures with the photographers afterwards... Seriously, i can't say enough good things about this wedding!

The reception afterwards was crazy fun... I wish i could describe to you guys what these southern folks are like but there's just no way.  Being around that many people saying "y'all", listening to Tyler break out into his backcountry Alabama hick voice, learning how to do the Wobble, the Cupid Shuffle, the Harlem Shuffle, the Copperhead something or other... Mannnn i don't even know, i just adore them.  I tried to explain to them how well they'd fit in at the Lower Deck in Halifax but, again, sort of hard to describe, i just know they would!  By the time the dancing wrapped up at 1030 everyone had sweat through their clothes (apparently i have a lot of shin sweat considering what my pants looked like.... Gross?)

Woo!

Rachel, Sarah, and Tara

We said our goodbyes to the newlyweds and their families after the reception, and the rest of us made our way to this lovely little establishment right on the border between Florida and Alabama called -- wait for it -- Flora-Bama.  It was hilarious and fun, and SO dirty and dusty and gross and yuck.  Haha.  As Tyler put it, it sort of looks like every time lumber floats up on the beach people just add another room to it.  It makes zero sense and looks like it could fall apart at any moment.  But the band was great and the beer was plentiful, and we had a blast.  I didn't take pictures because.... no. 

Anyway that's the wedding day wrap!  I apologize for the crappy narrating, I'm not that great at it haha... but I hope you all got a sense of how lovely it was to be here, and the fun and joy that were shared.  I have a separate line of thought that I'd like to write up when I have a bit more time to focus on what I'm doing, so check back tonight/tomorrow for that.  For now, here are a few more photos!

She's not giving anyone the stink-eye, her face actually looks like this.

Rachel getting all gussied up

The first dance as Mr & Mrs!

With pops

The YMCA with the boys

With the lovely Tara! My face also just does this on its own. 

Gurrrrl.  Work that up-do.

For whatever reason he had to do this with the mothers covering his eyes... oddly hilarious.

A lot of two-step action

Mmmmm cake

Ashley, Sarah and I.  Love!

bahahahha by the looks of things Garett and I had just made some serious "ohhhh yeahhh" contact

They left the reception to a whole whack of bubbles.  And a lot of "EHHHHHHH"-ing on our part.